he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
