He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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