bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
