I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
