That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
