The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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