The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
