I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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