Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
