Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
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She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
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I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
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