Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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