she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
you never un-have a 4some
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
