My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
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Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
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Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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