is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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