Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Come see our sink grown plant.
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She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
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Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
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