"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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