He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize