You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I will die if light touches me.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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