I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just forgot I was standing up.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
