She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There r osticjed everywhere
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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