He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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