that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
