I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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