Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
