fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
