it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
