Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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