i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
