So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
How's work?
Spinning.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
