please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
