People in love make me want to vomit
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
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Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
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I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize