What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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