Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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