paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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