Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
