Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
