once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
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