Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
