this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
