Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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