he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
