Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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