You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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