And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
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she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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