yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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