Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize