I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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