i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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