And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
