Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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