yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
