Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
