i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
