It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
