you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
