Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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